


Half Empty, Not Half Full

by writing_everday



Series: Symphony Soldier [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, One Tree Hill - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-25
Packaged: 2019-11-05 06:24:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17913506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writing_everday/pseuds/writing_everday
Summary: A week has gone by but Kurt is flashing back to last Friday and to his conversation with Blaine and wondering what's to come.





	Half Empty, Not Half Full

**Author's Note:**

> And I'm back with a second part! I should probably apolgize for the unhappy ending last time but I think this ending speaks all the words of "I'm sorry"
> 
> Song used is The Cab's "Lovesick Fool"

They still haven’t spoken. Kurt hadn’t been surprised when Blaine received his song poorly. Expected it even. Though, he did believe Blaine would have wanted to formally end their unofficial relationship. When Kurt hadn’t heard from Blaine by their midweek hookup, he knew there was no going back and no more conversations to be had between them. His heart was on the line and Blaine didn’t want to talk to Kurt about it. Seven days had passed without the slightest form of communication not even a favorite on Twitter announcing One Tree Hill’s next gig. 

It was Friday night and once again Kurt found himself standing on the stage. Apparently, the owner of The Cab had liked them enough last week to offer One Tree Hill another show. If they were as kickass, Dani’s word, as they were last Friday it had the potential to become a regular paid performance. Luckily, Kurt was able to find time to breathe and celebrate his band possibly becoming a real job—maybe even a career—despite his love life drama. 

Elliot was nodding to Kurt, the signal to take center stage. He almost wished the spotlight was blinding because had Kurt not been able to see the crowd tonight, he wouldn’t have locked eyes with Blaine. Dani spots him next and taps Elliot’s shoulder to notify him. 

“The new song,” Kurt heard Dani said. 

She whispered in Kurt’s ear next while still strumming her instrument making sure the bar’s music hasn’t disappeared because Kurt couldn’t get any lyrics to leave his throat. He felt sixteen again when he was granted his first competition solo and had a nightmare about no words coming out when the day finally came for him to perform. Rachel had told him he was crazy, which meant this fear was not something Barbra Berry had in common with him 

“Okay,” Kurt spoke into the microphone. “Last week we’d played a new song, a Kurt Hummel—that’s me for those of you who don’t know—original.” He got some laughs and Kurt noted the small smile from Blaine. “Tonight, we want to do the same. This is ‘Lovesick Fool.’”

_“Who are you?_  
You’re looking like a stranger  
You were once my love and my savior” 

Blaine had to know this song was also about him. It wasn’t as if Kurt had a choice in his subjects. Their relationship was all he thought about this past week. Songwriting had become a very necessary outlet for him. With no communication, Kurt had to talk to Blaine somehow. He needed to get those words out onto paper so they would stop haunting his thoughts. 

The boy was watching from the barstool he managed to grab. No friends tonight, just Blaine. Unlike last Friday, Kurt watches Blaine’s reactions to the song. He seems to sip his drink calmly but Kurt saw his foot shaking as it hovers above the ground. 

_“If I said ‘I wish you the best’  
I was lying”_

***

Elliot, Dani, and Kurt had soaked up the applause after their set. The rush of being on the stage stuck with the trio throughout shots (supplied by Santana), hugs (from Rachel and Mercedes), and a soft peck on the cheek (Brittany). However, Kurt had to face the consequences of his song. 

His friends barely noticed his departure when he walked towards Blaine’s now empty table. Blaine was still there, sipping the last of his beer. Without being asked, Kurt took the seat next to him. 

“You shouldn’t have,” Blaine started. “Like, you really shouldn’t have.” 

Kurt watched the boy scrape the label off the glass bottle. 

“They think I’m crazy, don’t they?” Kurt questions, glancing at Blaine’s friends getting another round at the bar.

It was obvious they had left Blaine alone on purpose. Whether it was to give him space to talk to Kurt was up for debate. 

“I do too.” 

“That’s all you have to say: I’m crazy?” 

Kurt noted that his voice was higher than normal. A sure sign of his nervousness. 

“Kurt,” Blaine stared at him. “I don’t know what to say.” 

“I guess the song wasn’t explanation enough,” Kurt sighs. “I can’t keep doing this with you if it’s just sex. I want more and it seems to me that you don’t feel that way about me. Blaine, I need someone who really cares about me.” 

Blaine went back to picking at the beer label. “I do care about you.” 

“Not in the way I want you too,” Kurt told him, standing up. “Good luck, Blaine.” 

“I hope you find what you’re looking for, Kurt,” Blaine called out after him. 

“I thought I did,” Kurt murmured, his eyes downcast. 

***

 _He was lucky to be so beautiful,_ Kurt thought, watching Blaine. It was difficult to be angry with a boy who looked effortlessly gorgeous. When did capri pants and boat shoes become sexy? And Blaine was wearing a bowtie Kurt had brought him three months ago, which didn’t help Kurt detach himself.  


One of the perks of the job was getting to take products home with him. Vogue had just met with Brooks Brothers and all the employees were given gift baskets. Kurt’s happened to include a fine selection of bowties, which he showed to Blaine. Of course, Blaine had fallen in love with the orange and pink striped one so Kurt happily offered it to him. 

Kurt drew his eyes away from Blaine when their staring match became too much. Instead, he looked towards Dani, who simply smiled gently encouraging Kurt to continue the song without letting his voice break. 

_“Waking up just brings me down, down_  
Cause every morning,  
You are nowhere to be found  
And my bed is half empty, not half full” 

From his spot at the bar Blaine looked nervous, which Kurt found odd considering the one bearing his feelings to a crowd of strangers wasn’t the boy nursing a beer. Kurt shakes his head like he had done this morning after noting the pillow beside him—Blaine’s pillow—had spent another night unused. 

Rachel kept the loft noisy, hoping to distract from Blaine’s absence. Most nights it worked. Kurt spent his time with work and catching up on his and Rachel’s favorite shows. His roommate was careful to select the show while Kurt made popcorn or scooped some low-fat, vegan ice cream into bowls. She didn’t want him to see the DVR filled with the trashy reality TV shows meant for Blaine and Kurt to binge. 

Mercedes came around a lot as well. She visited Vogue.com three times for lunch in the last week claiming to be in the area but Kurt wasn’t dumb. He was touched by her effort. He loved being able to introduce his co-workers to the next Big Star of LA since she was visiting New York for inspiration on her upcoming album. 

With Brittany and Santana living in their own place now, Kurt had been invited over for dinner Tuesday evening. Britt told Kurt how the move from Lima had taken its toll of Lord Tubbington. Apparently, he was so pleased with the city he kicked his terrible smoking habit, which Kurt was overjoyed to discover. 

All the extra time with his friends was delightful but Kurt knew something was missing. It took three days before he sat in the loft alone since Rachel had to be at the theater late on Mondays. Elliot called him about his outfit choices for his date and Dani was spending the evening in with her pajamas with a small cold. Their guitarist was hell bent on getting better before the weekend knowing One Tree Hill had been asked to play again at the same bar. Kurt and Elliot were assuring her they could handle the gig on their own but Dani rolled her eyes and reminded them they needed a female to balance the band out. To which Kurt and Elliot said they had plenty of feminine qualities between the two of them earning another eye roll. 

***

It was hard to finish the set after delivering another heavily personal song to the crowd but the hug from Dani definitely boasted Kurt’s confidence. After the last verse, they offered a quick round of applause while One Tree Hill switched their placement on the stage. Dani stood in the center preparing to cover one of her favorite Beatles songs, which she had been rehearsing for weeks finally perfected it two days ago. Personally, Kurt thought she sounded amazing the first time she ran through it but Dani was her own biggest critic. 

Without an actual cue to start singing, Kurt’s fingers grazed over the right notes without a thought. His mind wandered back to his own lyrics:

_“Like a ghost you haunt me_  
Every day that you’re gone  
I’m not the same  
Something went missing” 

Twice during this past week, Kurt saw glimpses of Blaine in places he would never be. Once outside a shop window downtown when Kurt was picking up an order of leather belts and boots for Isabelle. From the corner of his eye, Kurt swore he saw a head of curly hair pass the storefront. Then again, the following day when Kurt was on his lunch break. At a table in the back corner squished near the restrooms, he caught a flash of hazel eyes. Yet, when he went to look at the same table a second time only a five-dollar bill tucked under a plate holding half of a sandwich. Both times, Kurt told himself it had been a figment of his imagination because Blaine had no reason to be hanging around Vogue.com’s offices. It was nowhere near the theater district, which is where Blaine spent most of his days. 

“Thank you!” Elliot was saying, closing out their set. 

Kurt joined his bandmates at the front of the stage, grabbing Dani’s empty hand, and bowed as a group. 

“Drinks on me,” Dani announced. 

“She’s off meds, right?” Kurt asked, slightly worried about the consequences of mixing drugs and alcohol.

“Shit, I don’t know.” 

Kurt let Elliot run off to grab Dani before something awful happens while he attempted to find a spot to sit or at least a table to stand around while they came off their performance-high. There was a group leaving so Kurt politely questioned if he could take their place. 

It wasn’t long before the other boy approached the table. 

“Hi Kurt,” Blaine greeted, a shy smile on his lips. 

“So, we’re talking again?” 

“I didn’t know we stopped.” 

“Blaine, you haven’t sent me one text since last week,” Kurt replied. 

“Neither have you.” 

“I thought I was clear about my stance on this relationship.” 

Elliot spied the two boys talking and gestured for Kurt to call him should he need a rescue team. 

“You were but I guess I needed some time to…um…process.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me that before I left Friday?” Kurt asked. 

“Shell-shocked, nervous of your reaction, I’m an idiot,” Blaine listed. 

Kurt took a sip of Blaine’s beer, his throat suddenly dried up. 

“I decided I don’t want to lose you forever.” 

“Well, I’ll need time to get over you before we can go back to being just friends,” Kurt told him. “At least a few months, maybe longer. No communication unless I call first, I mean it when I say I’ll need space.” 

Blaine finished the bottle and scratched the back of his neck. “What if that’s not what I want?” 

“Then, I don’t know what to tell you. We can’t keep seeing each other like this—” Kurt was cut off by Blaine pressing their mouths together. 

“What if I’m a lovesick fool too?” Blaine asked, pulling away. 

Kurt was quick to bring their lips back together not bothering to answer his question.


End file.
